Many left-leaning Millennials still refuse to accept Hillary Clinton’s loss, and they’re getting increasingly desperate. On the anniversary of the election, thousands are planning to gather in major cities and “scream helplessly at the sky.” Perhaps nothing is as creatively cringe-worthy, however, as two women who tried to ask Karl Marx for advice by attempting to summon him via Ouija board.
Enter Sara and Callie, two women who appeared on a Facebook Live broadcast from Broadly, the women’s news division of VICE. Sara has brought her Ouija board, and they’re surrounded by candles and a metallic glitter curtain – appropriate for an activity that is somber, yet also completely nuts.
Ouija is either a board game or a tool used to summon the dead (or both) depending on who you ask. Sara says, without a hint of sarcasm, that the board can be used to summon spirits who will talk to you and answer questions by moving a planchette across the board. Callie goes along with it.
The pair picked Karl Marx because, in Sara’s words, “I think the spookiest thing of all is capitalism, personally, like, that’s what terrifies me in my core late at night.” Sara also claims a level of expertise in the occult. “I do a lot of spirit contact, on, like, the reg, pretty much,” she says.
There are no real qualifications for dealing in the occult (besides having color in your hair but not your wardrobe, as far as I can tell), so Sara’s spirit-world street cred makes her as much of an expert as anyone.
So, the women fire up their Ouija board and ask the spirit of Karl Marx to show up and answer some questions. Spoiler alert: Karl doesn’t show up. They say he must be busy; I say he’s dead and def not talking to anyone through a board game. To-may-to, to-mah-to.
They broaden their search to any ghost who wants to drop by for a chat. And then, the planchette starts moving across the board.
The “spirit” “tells” them that it was born in 1970, is not a human, and died by falling. In a reach so far it would make Gumby jealous, the women decide that they’re communicating with the ghost of the Democratic party. And oh boy do they have questions.
“Do you like Bernie Sanders?”
“Did you read Hillary Clinton’s book?”
“What gender are you?”
These two women truly think they’re talking to a ghost and are so careful not to assume the ghost’s gender. 2017 is wild, y’all.
The board goes on to spell out some garbled letters. Callie and Sara term this “a messaging problem” – the same thing that they think killed the Democratic party.
It takes some serious self-delusion to believe that 1) the Democratic party is dead 2) the Democratic party has a ghost and 3) that ghost will send messages through an old board game. But this doesn’t stop the women from talking about this like it’s all real.
In 2020, perhaps they’ll brand the board as a consultant and charge hundreds of dollars per hour for its use. To all rational people, however, trying to solicit political advice from ghosts is far more spoofy than spooky.