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Planned Parenthood’s new HQ: The ‘Apple Store’ of abortion

President Trump is trying to deliver on a campaign promise: defunding Planned Parenthood for their abortion services. Will it work? (Photo via AP)

President Trump is trying to deliver on a campaign promise: defunding Planned Parenthood for their abortion services. Will it work? (Photo via AP)

Planned Parenthood’s new Washington, D.C. headquarters are just the place to be if you’re looking for a fun place to piece-fully extract your unborn baby from your uterus. The architecture is modern, the interior design is fun and contemporary, and the facilities provide everything Planned Parenthood patients need to feel ‘safe’ and ‘relaxed.’

Approximately 12,000 patients are reportedly anticipated at the clinic in its first year. Laura Meyers, Planned Parenthood of Metropolitan Washington CEO, said she wants patients to feel like they are in a ‘combination’ Apple Store, Starbucks, and Anthropologie.

“Some want to experience the space alone– sit with their laptop or phone,” she said. “Others may want to experience it communally.”

Indeed, the baby-killing process is quite an experience. Planned Parenthood is there to walk you through it every step of the way.

The Washingtonian took a trip to the organization’s $19.7 million D.C. facilities to document its sweet accommodations. Upon walking in, the Washingtonian notes, you’re greeted by a reception desk with an ID kiosk, sharp objects for self-defense, and other security measures to make you feel safe from an ‘attacker’ during your visit. The colorful waiting area offers desks, couches, and BuzziHubs, sound-proof sofa booths that give patients a “quiet place” to talk and ponder why your overbearing mom wants grandkids so badly.

The exam rooms, painted a bright hot pink color, have stenciled drawings of an IUD, speaking bubbles, and a condom, to let you know you can ask for any of those things “without fear of judgment.” Upstairs, staff members can hang out in a modern kitchen that leads to an outdoor terrace where employees can ‘relax’ without having to leave the building and face the judging eyes of straight, white Christian men.

Overall, the process of slaughtering the voiceless person living inside of you can be quite painful and traumatic. Fortunately, Planned Parenthood is there to hold your hand and paint the walls a fun pink as you pass.


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