Just like Thanksgiving is really about gun control and the holidays are about getting covered, July 4 is about lecturing conservatives at barbecues and get-togethers about their misguided politics, because really, heaven forbid we not be partisan hacks for the 24 hours that should celebrate Jefferson’s eloquence, charcoal, baseball, beer, and America.
“Your wacky uncle or your Ted Cruz-loving neighbor or your cousin who watches FOX News all day may swing by for a burger or a dog,” Sharpton warns. “Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered.”
Whew. Thank Noam Chomsky. It’s a wonder how those federalists and anti-federalists shared their infant American soil without the likes of Sharpton to provide them talking points for their tavern outings and turkey hunts.
“Rev Al’s July 4th BBQ Tips!” — the exclamation point really drives it home, like “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” — lend guidance on how awesome the economy really is, how swell Obamacare has gone, and how the president hasn’t turned the executive branch into a one-man legislature.
Be one of the five or six people who have watched this tripe by clicking “play” below. I can’t do it twice.
Happy 4th. And unless you have friends at a barbecue today who go by Hillary, Bill, Barack, Joe, Harry, Nancy, John, Mitch, Ted, Rand, Marco, or Jeb, don’t mention their names. Not once.