Rep. Alan Grayson invites re-election supporters to be “Friends With Benefits”

Rep. Alan Grayson

Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla.) has had some weird and offensive fundraising emails before. But his new “friends with benefits” plea is probably his creepiest.

On Wednesday morning, the Florida Democrat sent out an email with the subject line “TODAY ONLY: Friends With Benefits.” Inside, it detailed how Grayson’s “sustainers” — people who donate small amounts to his re-election campaign on a monthly basis — will now be dubbed “friends with benefits.”

“Because steady small contributions are so important to our campaign – because you mean to [sic] much to us – we’re going to start looking for something that we can do for you,” the email proclaimed. “Starting today.”

The first “benefit” that Grayson’s supporters will receive is being allowed to ask the congressman a question. He will then select some of the questions to answer in a video response.

“Of course, we would like to do more,” the email explained. “We would like to give every single Friend with Benefits a Lamborghini. And also a big hug. But that’s not practical, at least not at this time.”

Money is probably especially tight for Grayson right now, as it was recently revealed that the Congressman lost $18 million in a scheme run by a man named William Dean Chapman. According to prosecutors on the case, Chapman lived lavishly off of the money he acquired from Grayson and other victims — even buying himself a Lamborghini.

The Congressman and his re-election team are also looking for “suggestions” of other ways to “be good” to their FWBs.

The email closed with lyrics from War’s “Why Can’t We Be Friends”:

Why can’t we be friends?
Why can’t we be friends?
Why can’t we be friends?
Why can’t we be friends?

I’d kinda like to be the President.
So I can show you how your money’s spent.

Why can’t we be friends?
Why can’t we be friends?
Why can’t we be friends?
Why can’t we be friends?

Friends with Benefits Alan Grayson

Comments

Polititainment

'Rival Survival' premiering Wednesday

Senators Jeff Flake (R-Ariz.) and Martin Heinrich (D-N.M.) are getting ready to show America their bipartisan fire-starting skills on "Rival Survival," a reality show starring tho lawmakers that premiers Wednesday night on the Discovery Channel.

Lovitz has a field day with Hillary

Before Hillary Clinton's jobs comment is swept aside as a minor whoopsie, a few words from Jon Lovitz.

John Oliver has some ideas for the FDA

Some people want more nutrition information on food labels--but who really understands those labels anyway?

SNL mocks Obama on Ebola

Saturday's SNL episode opened with a segment poking fun at both Obama and his chosen Ebola Czar Ron Klain, who has been the subject of criticism because he has no experience in the medical field.

Madeleine Albright T(witter)KOs Conan

Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright bested Conan O'Brien by Twitter knockout Thursday night, ribbing the comedian with a comeback worthy of a seasoned pro.

White House

Russian hackers broke into the White House network

Hackers with suspected ties to the Russian government recently broke into the White House’s unclassified computer network, the Washington Post reported Tuesday night.

Obama is withholding over 15,000 Fast and Furious documents

President Obama claimed executive privilege to withhold over 15,000 documents relating to Operation Fast and Furious, including nearly 20 emails sent between Attorney General Eric Holder and his wife.

White House fence jumper charged with assault
WASHINGTON (AP) — The 23-year-old Maryland man who climbed over the White House fence Wednesday night has been charged with felonies for assaulting two police dogs and making threats, the Secret Service said Thursday. Dominic Adesanya of Bel Air, Maryland, is in custody of the U.S. Marshals Service for previous outstanding warrants, Secret Service spokesman Brian Leary said. […]
President Obama, unpaid bills and the curious editing of the White House transcript
President Obama, some unpaid bills and a curiously “inaudible” section of the White House recording of a speech — that’s how all good stories start, right? While at a Democratic National Committee fundraiser in Chicago, Obama cracked a joke about the “unpaid bills” at his home. The joke was reported by the White House Press […]
Secrecy shrouds how the Obamas cook their chicken wings

Now it seems the Obamas are tight-lipped even about their eating habits.

Congress

Top lawmaker's Ebola claim

A leading House Republican says he is aware of information that points to the United States eventually receiving non-U.S. Ebola patients for treatment.

Rand Paul: ‘The war on terror is not over’

Rand Paul attempted to lay out his recently evolving foreign policy vision at his speech Thursday night at the Center for the National Interest.

McCarthy speaks out against 'Truthy' study
Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy is joining the growing dissent against the federally-funded “Truthy” study designed to monitor political speech on social media. In a blog post Thursday, titled “#KillingFreeSpeech,” McCarthy promises that the House Committee on Science will be conducting oversight “in the coming months on this and other questionable government-funded research projects.” “Why does the government […]
CIA agents impersonated Senate staffers to snoop
Despite a number of growing foreign and domestic threats over the summer, the CIA admitted that they had been using their resources to spy on elected officials in the Senate. Now, insiders are alleging that it’s not just what they did that is the problem, but how they went about it. A new piece by the […]
Republicans say they will reform the IRS

Republicans are talking about reforming the IRS if they gain the majority in the Senate next month, but seem to be treading with caution on making any specific promises.