Rep. Alan Grayson invites re-election supporters to be “Friends With Benefits”

Rep. Alan Grayson

Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla.) has had some weird and offensive fundraising emails before. But his new “friends with benefits” plea is probably his creepiest.

On Wednesday morning, the Florida Democrat sent out an email with the subject line “TODAY ONLY: Friends With Benefits.” Inside, it detailed how Grayson’s “sustainers” — people who donate small amounts to his re-election campaign on a monthly basis — will now be dubbed “friends with benefits.”

“Because steady small contributions are so important to our campaign – because you mean to [sic] much to us – we’re going to start looking for something that we can do for you,” the email proclaimed. “Starting today.”

The first “benefit” that Grayson’s supporters will receive is being allowed to ask the congressman a question. He will then select some of the questions to answer in a video response.

“Of course, we would like to do more,” the email explained. “We would like to give every single Friend with Benefits a Lamborghini. And also a big hug. But that’s not practical, at least not at this time.”

Money is probably especially tight for Grayson right now, as it was recently revealed that the Congressman lost $18 million in a scheme run by a man named William Dean Chapman. According to prosecutors on the case, Chapman lived lavishly off of the money he acquired from Grayson and other victims — even buying himself a Lamborghini.

The Congressman and his re-election team are also looking for “suggestions” of other ways to “be good” to their FWBs.

The email closed with lyrics from War’s “Why Can’t We Be Friends”:

Why can’t we be friends?
Why can’t we be friends?
Why can’t we be friends?
Why can’t we be friends?

I’d kinda like to be the President.
So I can show you how your money’s spent.

Why can’t we be friends?
Why can’t we be friends?
Why can’t we be friends?
Why can’t we be friends?

Friends with Benefits Alan Grayson

Comments