Rep. Alan Grayson invites re-election supporters to be “Friends With Benefits”

Rep. Alan Grayson

Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla.) has had some weird and offensive fundraising emails before. But his new “friends with benefits” plea is probably his creepiest.

On Wednesday morning, the Florida Democrat sent out an email with the subject line “TODAY ONLY: Friends With Benefits.” Inside, it detailed how Grayson’s “sustainers” — people who donate small amounts to his re-election campaign on a monthly basis — will now be dubbed “friends with benefits.”

“Because steady small contributions are so important to our campaign – because you mean to [sic] much to us – we’re going to start looking for something that we can do for you,” the email proclaimed. “Starting today.”

The first “benefit” that Grayson’s supporters will receive is being allowed to ask the congressman a question. He will then select some of the questions to answer in a video response.

“Of course, we would like to do more,” the email explained. “We would like to give every single Friend with Benefits a Lamborghini. And also a big hug. But that’s not practical, at least not at this time.”

Money is probably especially tight for Grayson right now, as it was recently revealed that the Congressman lost $18 million in a scheme run by a man named William Dean Chapman. According to prosecutors on the case, Chapman lived lavishly off of the money he acquired from Grayson and other victims — even buying himself a Lamborghini.

The Congressman and his re-election team are also looking for “suggestions” of other ways to “be good” to their FWBs.

The email closed with lyrics from War’s “Why Can’t We Be Friends”:

Why can’t we be friends?
Why can’t we be friends?
Why can’t we be friends?
Why can’t we be friends?

I’d kinda like to be the President.
So I can show you how your money’s spent.

Why can’t we be friends?
Why can’t we be friends?
Why can’t we be friends?
Why can’t we be friends?

Friends with Benefits Alan Grayson

Comments

Polititainment

Cooper, Eastwood met with Kyle's dad

The father of fallen U.S. Navy SEAL Chris Kyle was wary about the making of "American Sniper," but MailOnline reports that he was won over by the face-to-face assurance of the film's star and director that they wouldn't do his son's memory wrong.

'SNL' laughs at North Korea, Sony hacks
“Saturday Night Live” hit on North Korea and the Sony hacks twice this weekend, proving that unlike most of Hollywood, they aren’t scared of Kim Jong-un. The show started off with a bang, bringing back Mike Myers as Dr. Evil to interrupt the cold open and discuss his anger over the North Korea and Sony hacker […]
RNC asks theaters to show 'The Interview
The Sony hack and subsequent cancellation of “The Interview” has gone fully political. President Obama made an official statement on this decision and now the Republican National Committee is weighing in. RNC Chairman Reince Priebus asks that movie theaters not bow down to North Korea and stand up to this decision by screening the film […]
Obama: LeBron 'did the right thing'

President Obama supports LeBron James' decision to wear an "I can't breathe" t-shirt during warmup before the NBA game between the Cleveland Cavaliers and Brooklyn Nets last week.

Al Sharpton, Hollywood's Sony Liaison

In a private meeting with Rev. Al Sharpton at the Greenwich Hotel in New York City Thursday, Sony Pictures chair Amy Pascal told Sharpton that he could have a voice in how the movie studio makes its films.

White House

Obama: I will do ‘everything I can’ to close Guantanamo Bay
President Obama may have signed the defense bill that keeps Guantanamo Bay open for another year, but he is still verbally promising to close down the facility. Obama appeared on CNN’s “State of the Union” Sunday and discussed closing Gitmo by the end of next year with host Candy Crowley. “I’m going to do everything […]
Obama: ‘We’re not going to be intimidated’ by Sony hackers
President Obama appeared on CNN’s “State of the Union” Sunday morning and covered a variety of topics ranging from racism to North Korea and the Sony hacks. Obama repeated his earlier statements about the hacks, implying again that Sony made the wrong call by canceling screenings of “The Interview.” “The Boston Marathon suffered an actual […]
Obama: we can’t have censorship subject to ‘some dictator someplace’

WASHINGTON (AP) — President Barack Obama declared Friday that Sony "made a mistake" in shelving a satirical film about a plot to assassinate North Korea's leader, and he pledged the U.S. would respond "in a place and manner and time that we choose" to the hacking attack on Sony that led to the withdrawal. The FBI blamed the hack on the communist government.

U.S. confirms North Korea was behind Sony attack and promises ‘proportional’ response

Officials no longer merely suspect North Korea to be behind the cyberattack on Sony Picture—they’ve confirmed it.

District court declares Obama’s executive action on immigration unconstitutional
A federal court in Pennsylvania declared parts of President Obama’s executive actions on immigration unconstitutional Tuesday. Judge Arthur J. Schwab, sitting in the western district of Pennsylvania, said presidents do have the power to use discretion in deciding how to enforce laws, but found that Obama’s recent executive action went much further than that.  He said Obama was writing […]

Congress

GOP's probe into IRS finds 'culture of bias'
A report from the highly anticipated GOP probe into the Internal Revenue Service was released Tuesday and outgoing House Oversight Committee Chairman Darrell Issa (R-Calif.) slammed the organization for cultivating a “culture of bias.” Issa’s 210-page report says that the IRS is not the neutral tax collector it claims to be, especially at this critical time […]
US Rep. Grimm pleads guilty to federal tax evasion
NEW YORK (AP) — U.S. Rep. Michael Grimm admitted Tuesday to federal tax evasion, pleading guilty to charges he had fought as he won re-election last fall but that now leave his congressional future in question. Asked outside court if he planned to resign his seat, Grimm said no. “I’m going to get back to […]
Rand Paul's Festivus grievances are hilarious

Rand Paul’s Festivus airing of grievances kicked off earlier today, and he has a lot of them

Rand Paul will reintroduce police demilitarization

BUZZFEED — A version of the police militarization debate will be part of the Senate agenda next term.

House GOP wants to give Obama coal for Christmas
President Obama is getting nothing but a lump of coal from House Republicans this Christmas. But he’s not getting it because he’s been naughty — although some would certainly argue he fits that description — instead, it’s to teach him about the country’s resource that “holds the potential for a 21st-century economic revival.” Rep. Mike […]