10 best jokes from Obama’s 2013 White House Correspondents Dinner speech

At this point, speaking at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner is old hat for President Obama.

While many thought the tone of this year’s speeches would be more somber in light of the recent events in Boston and Texas, Obama still managed to pack quite a few laughs into his 20-minute speech.

Here are the ten best jokes from Obama’s speech at the 2013 White House Correspondents’ Dinner:

1. Jay-Z’s & Beyoncé’s recent Cuba trip.

BeyonceJayZChampagne

“I’ve got 99 problems and now Jay-Z’s one of them…that’s another rap reference.”

2. Bangs!

POTUS bangs WH Correspondents Dinner 2013

“I get it…these days I look in the mirror and realize I’m not the strapping young socialist I used to be.”

3. The Other Bush Library

The Blame Bush Library WH correspondents dinner 2013

“On Thursday I went to the opening of the Bush Presidential Library in Dallas. It inspired me to get started on my own legacy, which will actually begin by building another ediface right to the Bush library. I’m also hard at work on plans for the Obama library, and some have suggested that we put it in my birthplace but I’d rather keep it in the United States.”

4. Obama as Satan

Satan Barack Obama

“The History Channel is not here…guess they were embarrassed about the whole ‘Obama is a devil‘ thing.”

5. BuzzFeed

Buzzfeed logo

“I remember when Buzzfeed was something I did in college around 2:00am.”

6. Obama and the media

Barack Obama

“My job is to be president. [The media's] job is to keep me humble. Frankly, I think I’m doing my job better.”

7. Obama goes skeet shooting

Obama skeetshooting WH Correspondents dinner 2013

 

“You remember a few months ago my administration put out a photograph of me going skeet shooting at Camp David? Quite a number of people insisted that this had been photoshopped. Tonight I have something to confess – you were right, we were just trying to tone it down a little bit.”

8. Republican donor Sheldon Adelson

Sheldon Adelson investor

 

“You can buy an island and call it Nobama for that kind of money. Sheldon would have been better off offering me $100 million to drop out of the race. I probably wouldn’t have taken it, but I’d thought about it. Michelle would have taken it.”

9. Obama’s ‘charm offensive’

Barack Obama

“In fact, I’m taking my ‘charm offensive’ on the road: a Texas barbecue with Ted Cruz, Kentucky blue-grass concert with Rand Paul, and a book-burning with Michele Bachmann. My charm offensive has helped me learn some interesting things about what’s going on in Congress: it turns out absolutely nothing.”

10. Marco Rubio

Marco Rubio

 

“One senator who has reached across the aisle recently is Marco Rubio. But I don’t know about 2016 – I mean the guy hasn’t even finished a single term in the senate and he thinks he’s ready to be president.”

Comments

Comments

  1. sda53 says:

    None of this is funny. Why are we allowing this traitor idiot to stay in office. We know he is Indonesian, muslim, committed fraud to be on ballot in 08, sealed school records for applied as foreign student, and we don’t even know what his real name is and it goes on. He is a criminal. Do your job and get him out!

  2. AnonyTruth says:

    Wow Sda53 tin foil hat much? Everything you said is disinformation. You can look up the truth & think for yourself or continue to believe political extremists who count on you not looking it up so they can sell books & subscriptions to there shows. Everything you hear or read online is not true. These people are in it for the money & nothing else…

    1. sda53 says:

      Wow, commie I started researching him when he came out of nowhere and got on a ballot. This before they changed and cleaned records up to his favor. I have never been into politics till this muslim came on the scene. My concern is for the future not to be politically pleasing and in the popular crowd as you so want to be. Drink your kool aid and live in your dream world. Hopefully someone will stand up for your freedoms and rights so you will not have to do anything. If you are for obama and his muslim brotherhood administration then you too are a traitor to God and country. If they are in for the money what happens when he can’t borrow anymore in our name? This is about where our country is headed but obvious you do not want to worry your pretty little head with real life.

      1. Eric says:

        Well said SDA we got to get this Muslim traitor out of the White House NOW!!!!!

  3. Thomas A. Johnson says:

    Last Joke was Funny.
    You’re stuck with him so accept that or stress yourself silly.
    America choose a “hipster dufuss” over a “Christian Soldier” and America will have consequences for that. That is a fact and there is no way to “play it off”.

Polititainment

Obama praises Joan Rivers

President Obama must really want to maintain his popularity in Hollywood. Why else would he write a letter to Melissa Rivers praising her mother and late comedian Joan Rivers, the same woman who called him gay and his wife a "tranny" in July?

TDS: Biden hasn't been out of the house

"The Daily Show" had some fun Thursday night with the VP's recent double whammy of off-color remarks.

GoT Author to host Democrat Fundraiser
The red fundraiser? In this case, the appropriate color is probably blue. George R.R. Martin, the author of the popular book series “A Song of Ice and Fire” and the inspiration for HBO’s “Game of Thrones,” will host a fundraiser for Sen. Tom Udall (D- N.M.) in early October. According to Udall’s campaign, the event will […]
Jay Carney's son performs at White House

The former White House press secretary and now CNN political commentator tweeted out a photo of his son's band Twenty20 performing at a White House event Monday evening.

Stewart: Graham has panicked for 13 yrs
Comedian Jon Stewart is taking some time away from going after his favorite Republican war hawk Sen. John McCain and is now going after McCain’s fellow rally crier, Sen. Lindsey Graham. Graham had some strong words over the weekend on the topic of ISIS, saying,  ”This president needs to rise to the occasion before we […]

White House

Security breaches prompt more White House security
WASHINGTON (AP) — The Secret Service tightened security outside the White House after an embarrassing breach in which a man with a knife scaled a fence, ran across the lawn and made it all the way inside before agents stopped him. Increased surveillance and more officer patrols are among the measures that Secret Service Director Julia Pierson ordered. […]
He gaffes again! Biden praises disgraced former Senator Bob Packwood

Ranking Joe Biden gaffes is like running down the deck of the Titanic -- in the end it's just a race to the bottom and no one ever wins. And yet the vice president continues to provide more candidates for his greatest hits.

Joe Biden should never be allowed to support a Redskins name change

Imagine for a moment a tied Senate vote urging the Washington Redskins to change their team name. Into the chamber steps Joe Biden.

Gaffetastic vice-president apologizes for slur

Vice-President Joe Biden apologized Wednesday for his use of an ethnic slur in a speech this week.

Two remarkable stories show why these Vietnam vets earned an exemption to receive the Medal of Honor

Two Vietnam War veterans who were granted an exemption to receive the Medal of Honor were officially recognized Monday, recalling the extraordinary courage of servicemen often obscured by the tumultuous domestic politics of the era.

Congress

House GOP replaces firm handling Obama suit
THE HILL — House Republicans said they’ve hired new counsel to represent them in their lawsuit against President Obama after their previous lawyer backed out of the case over “political pressure.” They inked a contract on Friday with William A. Burck of Quinn Emanuel Urquhart. The New York Times reported that the GOP’s previous attorney, David Rivkin of […]
Convicted felon running for Congress

Edwin W. Edwards recently spent nine years in prison after being convicted for extorting millions of dollars in exchange for riverboat gambling licenses, and now he's running for office.

Rand Paul: Millennials 'aren't as wedded to party'
Sen. Rand Paul (R – Ky.) seems to have the majority of millennials figured out. The presidential hopeful spoke with The Federalist this week about his foreign policy views and the shift toward libertarian views among millennials. “I think the libertarian influence, the libertarian-ish Republican, the libertarian conservatives in many ways is great for the […]
Democrats turn on Debbie Wasserman Schultz
POLITICO – Democratic National Committee Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz is in a behind-the-scenes struggle with the White House, congressional Democrats and Washington insiders who have lost confidence in her as both a unifying leader and reliable party spokesperson at a time when they need her most. Long-simmering doubts about her have reached a peak after two […]
'Finally, we're gonna audit the Fed'

The House passed a bill Wednesday afternoon to audit the Federal Reserve, a long-time crusade of former Rep. Ron Paul and libertarians.