The ‘One Percent’s’ War on Hobos

Readers, I think we’ve glossed over it long enough. Every year around this time, someone brings up the fact that certain groups are not allowed to be members of Augusta National Golf Club. There are whisper campaigns and back channel gossip, but we are not willing to take it anymore.

Yes, Augusta National only allows “one percenters” to join. Where are the hobos? It’s time to demand hobo justice. The War on Hobos must be stopped.

Last weekend the Masters gold tournament took place, the most famous event to happen at Augusta each year. You know what I noticed? It was the definite lack of hobos. Why is it that everyone is willing to talk about the lack of female members at Augusta, but they’re ignoring this issue? Women are at least allowed at the club. Again, I wonder, where are the hobos? Why should only “one percenters” be allowed to enjoy the loveliness of the club? Why should only they be allowed to dine in the dining room and relax on their patio? Hobos need to relax, too!

This is a grossly overlooked issue. Even a brief Internet search shows that there is plenty of concern over all-male membership, but not a thing about the 99% of people who can’t even enter the club. This is wrong, this is “hobo-ist,” and the “War on Women” is just a smokescreen. They want to distract us with women’s rights to avoid the much more divisive issue of hobo’s rights.

Take off the blinders, America. Take a moment to wonder, while women are sipping mimosas at Augusta, where are the hobos?